The bartender friend

For some, a bartender friend is often the crucial cog of the well-oiled machine, but they can also gum up the works and complicate things. This friend always has access to inexpensive liquid to fuel nights of gentlemanly adventure, as well as a venue from which to provide said liquid. The bartender friend has what can often appear to be a magical power, that is, the instantaneous reduction of a $60 bar tab to a mere $20. This is a true win-win situation, you end up paying for one out of three drinks, while you throw a generous tip your friend’s way. Plus, he’s always around and ready to party if your girlfriend breaks up with you or if your dog died and you want to pour one out for poor old Roofus.

The doctor friend

These friends are here to provide invaluable medical services. Have a weird mole? Call Tommy. Sinus infection? Tommy. Sprained your ankle because your bartender friend Paulie gave you one too many, give Tommy a call, he’ll take care of it. It’s also possible you assisted a damsel in distress and by doing so, injured yourself. Once again, the doctor is there to write a prescription if you need it or even sew you up.

The lawyer friend

The lawayer friend is usually around to help clean up any messes that you get yourself into. More often than not, it’s usually the result of the bartender friend once again giving you too much. Maybe you needed to use the restroom and could not wait until you got home and decide to pop into an alley — which is dangerous for multiple reasons — and a police officer sees you, the lawyer friend is there to make sure this matter goes away quickly and quietly.

I’m sure we can think of other friends every guy needs, but I think this sums it up fairly well.

Don’t ask this guy for an autograph.

This has something to do with being “gully.” Gully=ghetto/gutter? Can someone please translate? Either way, the rapper/reggae star Elephant Man, made a song with my name in it. It’s also a dance. Word.